A huge part of my grief journey has been guilt.  Why am I still here and my child is not?  What did I do wrong?  Am I being punished for my sins?  What did I miss?  I should have done something.  I could have done something.  Why didn’t I do something?

Recently, I was watching a movie, doesn’t really matter which, and one character lamented to another that he didn’t understand WHY things happened.  The older, wiser character responded, “You still don’t get it.  It’s not about you!”

That hit me like a swift kick!  (pause for effect)

It’s not about ME.

My loving GOD would never harm my child to punish me.  HE has HIS plans.  True, I will never understand, but I do trust.  It’s not about ME.  I didn’t cause it.  There was nothing I could do.

It’s not about ME.

Even my grief journey is not solely about me.  Of course, some is ME oriented, but the journey is about healing, discovery – growth, drawing closer to God – it’s about HIM.

This journey is about connecting with others and lifting and encouraging them by sharing without judgement.  It’s about travelling and experiencing and sharing.

Now, when I find myself slipping into the darkness, I shout: “It’s not about ME!”  Then I find someone to help or encourage.  When I focus on lifting up and supporting someone else, I feel comforted – let the healing begin.

Thank you, GOD, for your grace and guidance.