I am not trying to encroach on anyone’s belief system or heritage or culture. I am not trying to “become” something I am not. Honestly, I am so broken, I cannot be what I was – so I must be something else. I am just trying to survive the most devastating, painful loss – the loss of my child – a loss so deep and unimaginable and all-consuming, it has no name.
So, I am seeking enlightenment. I am picking up pebbles of knowledge and wisdom and comfort to build a new pathway. I may pick up a “pebble” from a rap song or the writings of a Tibetan Monk or the passing comment of a Catholic Priest or the prose of a cowboy poet. In addition to my Christian Bible, my foundation, I am currently reading books by Native American authors as well as the writings of a Vietnamese Monk.
I respect the journey of others, and the paths they take are the best for them. I am on my own path, and I am grateful when I can learn and find comfort in the journey of another. I hope, someday, I will be able to lift another traveler on their journey, and hand them a pebble with love and understanding.
I am not “claiming” any convention or label. I am seeking GOD. I am seeking HIS guidance and comfort and wisdom – not man’s religions or labels or groups or boundaries.
So, I am learning to live my life, travel my path ala carte – sampling the wisdom of all. Taking a little bit from each. Some will be right for me and will add this pebble to my pathway. Some will not be right for me and I will release the pebble – NOT THROW IT, just release it.
My heart is set on GOD and my mind is open. I respect different views and different paths. Love and kindness and acceptance are powerful aids to all travelers on this spiritual journey, especially those in pain.