Never Life

My child is in the After Life – and I am in the NEVER Life.

I NEVER wanted to survive my child.  This is the worst thing that I NEVER thought would happen.  I will NEVER stop crying.

I am trying to cope with the loss I NEVER wanted to face.  I will NEVER be the same.

I will NEVER “Get over it” and will NEVER stop wanted to slap people who say I should.

I’ve lost the person I NEVER wanted to be without.

In one phone call, I heard the words I NEVER wanted to hear and I can NEVER forget.

I NEVER thought I would survive, and maybe I won’t.

I will NEVER be “MOM” again.  I will NEVER hold him or hear his voice in this lifetime.

I will forever miss the cards, texts, and phone calls that NEVER come.

I struggle to make it through the holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries I will NEVER celebrate again.

I have become a person I NEVER wanted to be.  I realize now, I truly NEVER understood the pain of others before.

I have done things I NEVER wanted to do – and said a good bye I NEVER wanted to say.

I will NEVER stop loving and missing him.  I will NEVER stop speaking his name and talking about him.

I will NEVER let go of GOD’s gentle hand.  I will NEVER forget GOD loves me.  I will NEVER stop trusting GOD.

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Never Life

  1. You will NEVER forget. You will NEVER stop missing him. And that is just the way it should be. You WILL learn to breathe life again. You WILL hold dear the precious memories and love in your heart. ou WILL heal but there will be a scar. Bless you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sending healing thoughts your way! The pain of losing a child is horrendous; I can so relate to your words. You will survive and things will get easier but you will never forget! Blessings sent to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. After reading your About page and this post, I had to walk away from my computer for a while. I could feel all the pain and grief in your words and it squeezed my heart.

    I can’t imagine the nightmare you live in each waking hour. It is not fair and completely unreasonable for a parent to suffer the loss of a child. My deepest condolences.

    Liked by 1 person

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