The Life in my Head – Part 1

OK, maybe I should not admit this, but I live a completely different life in my head.  OK, in the physical world, I drag my worn carcass out of bed and go through the motions of the day.  I hide my grief and depression behind the appropriate smiles and conversation.

But – in my head – my life is completely different.  I carry on conversations with people, saying what I really want to say in the physical world – but cannot.  What can I say, I like living indoors and cashing my paycheck.   But in my head, I really give people what for!  In my head, I grieve out loud – I hide nothing.  I scream and sob – in my head.

In my head, I am not the old, worn, gray haired woman in the mirror.  In my head, I am still MOM.


5 thoughts on “The Life in my Head – Part 1

  1. I understand the “in my head” conversations! One thing that has helped me is… If you start doing something mathematical like 1+1=2, 2+2=4… It forces you to switch to a different part of your brain. It helps with the wanting to scream! It has helped me and I hope it may help you? Losing a child is such a loss but you will alway be a MOM… I feel your pain 😦

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