OK, maybe I should not admit this, but I live a completely different life in my head. OK, in the physical world, I drag my worn carcass out of bed and go through the motions of the day. I hide my grief and depression behind the appropriate smiles and conversation.
But – in my head – my life is completely different. I carry on conversations with people, saying what I really want to say in the physical world – but cannot. What can I say, I like living indoors and cashing my paycheck. But in my head, I really give people what for! In my head, I grieve out loud – I hide nothing. I scream and sob – in my head.
In my head, I am not the old, worn, gray haired woman in the mirror. In my head, I am still MOM.