Have you ever had to deal with someone you could ONLY describe as BatCrapCrazy? This person is SO negative – the nasty attitude suffocates every positive ion in the room. While in a room with 8 people, we were all happily brainstorming – working through ideas, treating one another with courtesy and respect. It was a very positive event. Even if an idea was not accepted, it was not arbitrarily rejected. Each person had a voice and we were covering ground. We were really making progress and everyone was able to feel like a contributor.
Then, BatCrapCrazy arrives using the tongue as a vicious weapon, with impunity. The remarks were so hurtful, creativity was stifled. Dialogue shutdown. Progress – DEAD!
I have a raging migraine and my acid reflux is reaching the solar hotspot zone – after just one hour.
You know the really sad part? I feel very sorry for BCC. This is a good person, a smart person – trapped underneath all that hateful negativity. This person does not see the rubble left in the wake – and I am sure does not hurt people intentionally. I wish I knew how to help. It must be so sad in BCC world.
Just driving when Smoke Robinson came on the radio with “Tears of a Clown”.
“Now they’re some sad things known to man
But ain’t too much sadder than
The tears of a clown when there’s no one around”
I felt like he was singing to me and I just had to pull over. I just finished a presentation for work, a group of about 15. It went very well. Everyone laughed and complimented when the presentation was over – I was professional and effective. I made them laugh. I played the clown. Now, I am in the car on the side of the road, crying. But it’s OK, I needed this cry – and I am going to wipe off my face and drive on.
We desperately needed the rain here in Virginia, and I was glad to see it. But, after every storm there are fences to be checked, branches and debris to cleanup. This is when Charlie dons his working harness and pulls a small wagon. He sits anxiously awaiting my call: “Let’s go to work”!! We walk the fence line together. I gather up the fallen limbs while he hauls the little wagon. He is a huge help.
Of course, after a hard day at work, there is nothing like an afternoon nap. Notice the “Farm Dog” collar? Well earned, fine Charlie, well earned – a label of love and honor!! I couldn’t make it without you!! God Bless Farm Dogs!!!
I always considered myself a dreamer of dreams – willing to try new things, to step outside my comfort zone and “make” changes. Before the darkness came, I had so many dreams, things we were going to do. Then everything shattered.
Now I seem to be frozen – stagnant. I am not happy in my current state, I have dreams of change, but I don’t seem to be able to put any action to them.
I talk about my exciting “business idea” and I live that life in my head – but that is all I do. I know I need to make some changes – I can’t stay here in the dark – but I am struggling.
When I was in basic training at Fort Jackson way back in 79, (Yes, I am a veteran – US Army) I remember we would finish our forced Marches by climbing a hill we lovingly dubbed “Drag Ass Hill”. It was steep and sand! For every step forward, you would slide half way back. It took dogged perseverance to get up that hill, and a drill sergeant chomping at my heals, but I made it.
Now, I feel like I am on Drag Ass Hill, without the youth and strength and motivation to keep climbing.
But, I need to suck it up – and take a step. Just a step – GOD, I need a push!!
Thanks to the miracle of coffee, I dragged my ragged, worn carcass out of bed this morning to do farm chores and then head off to work. My husband sleepily praised me “Honey, you work like a dog!” Hmmm! Really? I am heading off to muck stalls and Charlie is sleeping late. But look at that sweet face!!!
Last year, our dear Rocky crossed over rainbow bridge. Rocky was such a sweet, scruffy mutt. As a wee pup, some wicked soul threw him from a moving vehicle. We were happy to rescue him and fortunate to have him for 11 years.
Today, as everyday, I was missing my son so much – and look – a doggie cloud!! Rocky came to lift my spirits!!
I heard this poem about a million years ago when I was in high school. I have searched the internet but cannot find it. I believe it was called the Fabled Crows??
I am pulling this from memory, so I know it is garbled – but at least this is the gist of what I can recall:
The fabled crows watched five hunters go behind
And three depart from one stark hunter’s blind
And flew down from all the neighboring trees
So were blasted
Truth is what one sees
Consequence is what one fails to see
Baby is very aggravated with me. She had to get an EXTRA bath this week. Big Brother Charlie peed on her head!
I gave Charlie a stern “talking to” but I don’t think he is sorry.