You ever have days you just can’t win? At the last minute, I needed to take my husband to the doctor. I had to call work and let them know I would be late. Then, I felt guilty about leaving my work team hanging – I am old-school dependable. I am ol’ reliable, at work 20 minutes early. But not today.
My husband kept apologizing for needing me to drive, no matter how much I assured him it was OK. “I love you. I want to drive you. We are a team.” Then I felt guilty for making him feel guilty.
When I got him back home safe and sound, I felt guilty that I had to make haste and rush out the door to work – no time to throw the ball for Charlie dog or rub a puppy belly. They both looked so sad!!
That is my vicious circle. When I am at home, I feel guilty for missing work. When I am at work (two jobs), I feel guilty for neglecting home and farm chores. When I carve out ME time to ride my red mare, I still criticize myself for the To Do List I haven’t finished and the floors I didn’t mop. Then, I work myself into a silly state and get in a huge hurry. What does that accomplish?
I hurried by the gas station and slammed my finger in the car door. How dumb was that? So now I feel guilty, hasty, and ouchy! Why do I do this to myself?
But, I am still going riding tomorrow!!