Gertie Goose going for a ride in the truck

When the weather is bitter, Gertie Goose “migrates” via truck to the neighbor’s comfy, warm barn. When the weather is better, she hops in the truck and migrates back. We love our Gertie Goose. Although she primarily lives at my little farmette, she is sort of a “neighborhood” pet. We all take care of her. She is quite content to ride in the truck.

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I’m angry

You show your pain

I hide my pain

I’m angry

You fall apart

I carry you

I’m angry

Everyone worries about you

I am invisible

I’m angry

You say I am strong

But I know I hurt too

I’m angry

I am responsible

I am the adult

I’m angry

I love you

I worry about you

I’m angry

I am sinking into bitterness

I am invisible and forgotten

I’m angry

I have to be strong

To be strong, I have to be angry

I don’t know how to stop being angry

The Birthday

Today is my Son’s birthday. He should be 37. He should be with his lovely wife and precious son. He should be with his Dad and me. Instead, he is permanently 34 years old. I can’t hug him. I can’t see him. I miss him so much. Time heals nothing. The ache is so deep, constant – exhausting.

Today, despite the recent cold spell – a tiny lady bug was sitting on my kitchen counter, next to my Keurig and coffee cup!!!

I scooped up my little visitor, held him, and sobbed. I whispered a secret message to my son, and released the tiny messenger.

I do believe in signs and visits. It made me feel better.