Sometimes, I feel like I am in love with a porcupine, a very cute porcupine. This porcupine has some very, VERY good qualities and a good heart. But it is covered in sharp, painful quills. It just seems like every time I let down my guard and get close – OUCH!!
I want to trust the porcupine – OUCH!! I get stabbed by the LIE Quills.
I want to believe things will change – OUCH!! The addiction quills!!
But I still love the porcupine.
Is it his fault for hurting me, or is he just being what he is?
Is it my fault for trying to love a porcupine?
Or do I just need some sleep?
The Israelites spent 40 years going around and around – I get that.
I feel like I am going around and around the same mountain, and I just can’t get it right.
The same demons keep cropping up – so around I go, making another trip.
I cannot stop a loved one’s addictive behavior. I cannot make the outcome different – so what I am failing to learn?
I see the train wreck down the line, but what don’t I see? Should I just get out of the way and refuse to be collateral damage again?
What about compassion and forgiveness and responsibility and commitment?
Sometimes, I just drop to my knees and ask GOD, how broken do I need to be?
Where is the line? Strong people break too.