I am a Horse-a-chondriac 

The upcoming solar eclipse is an exciting event – but I cannot help but worry about my horses and outdoor pets.  Is that silly?  Should I be concerned?

I can keep my house dogs in the house, I will just shut the dog door.

I think Gertie Goose is nearly blind already, so no worries for her.  I think Flip Flop Kitty will be OK.

But what about my red mares?  I know they are little stinkers, but they are my little stinkers and I love them.

Advertisements

This time, Charlie WAS a working dog

We desperately needed the rain here in Virginia, and I was glad to see it.  But, after every storm there are fences to be checked, branches and debris to cleanup.  This is when Charlie dons his working harness and pulls a small wagon.  He sits anxiously awaiting my call:  “Let’s go to work”!!  We walk the fence line together.  I gather up the fallen limbs while he hauls the little wagon.  He is a huge help.IMG_4035

Of course, after a  hard day at work, there is nothing like an afternoon nap.  Notice the “Farm Dog” collar?  Well earned, fine Charlie, well earned – a label of love and honor!!  I couldn’t make it without you!!  God Bless Farm Dogs!!!

IMG_3585

 

 

Working like a dog?

Thanks to the miracle of coffee, I dragged my ragged, worn carcass out of bed this morning to do farm chores and then head off to work.  My husband sleepily praised me “Honey, you work like a dog!”   Hmmm!  Really?  I am heading off to muck stalls and Charlie is sleeping late.  But look at that sweet face!!!IMG_4096

Mad as HELL at ME!!

Another revelation or a bit of grief evolution.

I realized something in the wee hours of the morning, when I really wanted to be asleep.  I was thinking I was so frustrated with a loved one for lacking self-discipline and continuing unhealthy habits.  Then my mind wondered to another person I criticized for sloth; and yet another who described me in a unflattering way and stung my feelings.

Suddenly, I realized – I wasn’t frustrated with these other people at all.  I was mad at me!!  I am mad as hell at ME!!  I am mad at me for not exercising self-discipline and losing weight.

I am mad at me for lounging, wasting time and being slothful – when I have chores to do, tasks I once enjoyed.

The only reason the hurtful description cut me so deeply, is because I believe it – I look in the mirror and all I see is tired, fat, and old.

I am just angry at me.  I really don’t like that old lady in the mirror.

These others have no power over me – and I have none over them.  We are each the potter’s hands, and I am not the potter.  I cannot make someone else make better choices and clearly I am not making the best choices for me.

Matthew 7:3

“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”

GOD, please forgive me for wrong thoughts.  I clearly have a beam in my own eye and I need to roll up my sleeves and get to work on pulling it out.  OK, so HOW?  Grief is so heavy, it ways on me.  When I want to exercise or clean the garage or clean out the tack room – I have all this extra weight, both in my heart and on my bum!  I am wide awake at 5 am, but I struggle to drag out of bed by 6:30.  It takes all my strength to work all day and then do just my daily chores– let alone major cleaning and upkeep.  My brain keeps cycling back to, “What’s the point?”  “Why try?”  “It hurts!”

Come on ME!! Get it together.  What would I say to ME – if ME was my best friend?  I would say, “It’s OK, don’t be so hard on yourself.  I am here for you.  I care. How can I help?”

Well, ME –  maybe instead of trying to fix everything all at once, just set three tiny goals – for a 24-hour period.  OK, here goes, after I get home from work and do daily chores – I will also complete three tasks from my To Do List:

  1. I will sweep the feed room.
  2. I will give Baby Dog a haircut, at least around her backside.
  3. Tomorrow morning, I will make sure to be up by 6:15.

With GOD’s help, that all seems doable, not too overwhelming.  Oh, and maybe I will give me a little hug.  I think ME really needs it.

 

Screaming headache – suggestions?

It is unbearably hot here in Virginia.  But the horses and goose and cat need care.  I scrubbed the water trough and both goose pools.  Everyone has fresh water and the barn fans are running.

And my head is pounding.

OK, I don’t want to run to the Excedrine every time I get a head ache.  I am trying more natural remedies.

I turned off all the lights and relaxed for 20 minutes.  I think that made it worse.

I drank a full bottle of water.

I drank a cup of coffee for my caffeine fix.

Still the little hammer is slamming away in my head.  And still there are chores to be done.

OK, before I take the top off this Excedrine bottle, any other natural suggestions?

Wildflowers versus Weeds

Wildflowers and weeds seem to go together.  I cannot pull out the weeds without damaging the wildflowers.  To be honest, when they are little – I can’t tell the difference.  My life feels like that – weeds of pain, grief, sorrow, self condemnation mixed with wildflowers of loving family, friends, spirit helper animals.  Some days, all I see are the weeds.  All I see is what I lost, what I miss.

Today, I am trying to see ONLY the wildflowers – I see the butterfly and I choose to believe my son sent it to me – a sign of love.  I choose to let the beauty and the gentle scent of the wildflowers convey GOD’s love to me and my love to HIM.

I pray you all will see many wildflowers.

IMG_4316IMG_4317IMG_4318

Lizard CPR??

The Virginia heat is taking a toll on critters.  I was about to dump the horse trough for a good scrubbing, when I noticed this little fellow struggling to stay afloat.  I scooped him out and laid him in a shady patch of grass.  At first, I thought he was not breathing.  Just when I was about to google Lizard CPR. his little sides started heaving, but he was not moving.   I continued my barn chores, keeping an eye on my little friend.  It took nearly 20 minutes for him to regain his strength, but he eventually scurried off under the barn.  Whew!!  I really was sure how the mouth to mouth would work!!IMG_4277