Playing the game

OK, I am not a sports person, at least not any sport that does not include a horse.  So please forgive me if I use the wrong terms.  

My husband is a sports fan, all sports.  He was watching a replay of some baseball game – one team was down by 12 runs or something like that.  Essentially, the game was over for them.  They already lost.  But they keep playing, taking their bat turns.

It made me cry and I struggled to understand why – I don’t care about baseball.  But then, I realized, it is how I feel.  The game is already over.  I lost, when I lost my son – GAME OVER.    But I am still playing.  There are still innings left.  I don’t know why,  but apparently, I still have innings left.

Just like the baseball players keep playing for the sake of their pride or their team or their fans or advertisers – whatever reason.  I keep playing.  I keep playing for my husband, my family, my animals – I just keep getting up to take my turn at bat.  I will never get a home run or even a hit – I just feel like I can only strike out – but I am going to keep swinging.  I know there are so many depending on me.  

I am sorry, this is such a dismal post this evening.   I am just on the dark side tonight – strong people break too – they just break on the inside where no one sees.

Thank you, GOD, for loving me.  Thank you for my Charlie Dog.  Hugging him helps so much.

The sun will come up tomorrow.

Prayers for all enduring storms.

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